[Taylor Swift:]
My ex-boyfriends all hate me now
They think I was crazy and dicked them around
I can't stand that they think about me as a bad girlfriend
So I guess I gotta take them out!
How dare they all dump Taylor Swift
And not remember me as perfect
They must pay the price
And I won't rest until they all are dead!
Hey John! Remember me?
[John Mayer:]
Sure, Taylor, we dated before I met Katy
[Taylor Swift:]
Since our breakup made me scream
I'll return the favor
Go to hell, John Mayer!
That's right, scream
[John Mayer:]
Aaaaah! Aaaaah!
[Taylor Swift:]
Rest in peace
Ha ha ha!
I invited Joe Jonas to my tent
Yeah, I used to date him
Back when he still had hits
[Joe Jonas:]
It's not fair my career's gone to sh**
God, I hate my brother
[Taylor Swift:]
Well he's the one with talent!
[Joe Jonas:]
Why would you say something so cruel?
No, please stop!
What the hell did I do?
[Taylor Swift:]
You broke up with me over the phone
And left me all alone
Now I am on a plane
Soon I will be k**in'
One more ex - Jake Gyllenhaal
[Jake Gyllenhaal:]
What are you doing, Tay?
[Taylor Swift:]
I'm hitting this bu*ton
Now I'm gonna jump
It's my wildest dream
[Jake Gyllenhaal:]
No! No! No!
[Taylor Swift:]
That was three
Two to go
[Harry Styles:]
Taylor?
[Taylor Swift:]
Hello, Harry
I've come to say bye-bye
Because you're about to die
[Harry Styles:]
What?
I'm just going to space!
[Taylor Swift:]
There's been a change of plans
Cause I'm k**ing exes in
My wildest dreams
Ha! Ha! Ha!
[Calvin Harris:]
What are you doing, Taylor, love?
[Taylor Swift:]
I know eventually you will dump me
[Calvin Harris:]
What? No! Ow!
[Taylor Swift:]
So I might as well
k** you now