[Katy Perry:] I just broke up with an enormous douchebag And now it is audition time for my next man But I Have one request, to be with with me Treat me sh**tely then cheat on me [Russell Brand:] You were my darling flower [Katy:] You should go take a shower My finger might just be the only thing that can please Katy Perry [Russell:] Take me back I brought you a gift Panties from the girl who lives next door [Katy:] Are those Victoria's Secret? I only wear Gucci, Prada or Dior... That is what you get, you cheap prick [Arabic Guy:] This video's offensive To m**ms and Egyptians [Katy:] Put my makeup back! [Miley Cyrus:] Let's lez out [Katy:] Oh no, not again Miley [Miley:] We made out... [Katy:] That's because you mouth raped me [Miley:] I brought you, a jar of all my STD's [Katy:] You're sickening! [Robin Thicke:] If you want a date a cheater I could show you just how blurred my lines are [Russell:] Get out here you old creeper
Marry me again. I'm the worst by far [Katy:] I'm not interested, so sorry [Russell, Robin:] Don't zap us with your b**bies [Katy:] I'm getting bored, this song needs [Juicy J:] Someone who is black Guess that's me, the name's Juicy J I sold my a** out, for Katy Perry Dark Horse is, the name of this wack beat, but there Ain't a single horse and the only dark thing is me Why the hell is this theme Egyptian? Katy, check your brain, I think it's missing all these Blue guys and b**hes with cat heads who wrote this were They trippin? I think that I was drugged Why else would I agree to do this? I used to be straight hood, but now I'm making pop garbage [Katy:] Every video I do this have to stand up above all the rest Time to use my enormous tits, to escape this horrible green screen set There is nobody, nobody That's good enough for Katy So screw all you, peace out dudes [Arabic Guy:] I don't think so b**h!