Been playing Shaftsbury Avenue
For a thousand years or maybe two - darlings
Done plenty bum gigs in my time
But everything's alright now
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
We fall in love most every night
We're quite ridiculously tight - darlings
And yeah I feel some kind of freak
Getting k**ed six times a week
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
It's nearly half past three
Gotta do a matinee
I don't understand this game
Why everything's the same
But as the show go on and on
And on and on
And on and on and on and on and on
And on
I know the punters mustn't see
How mundane it seems to me - darlings
But sometimes I wish I could screw
Someone else in Shaftsbury Avenue
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
Curtain up - exposition
Development of character
Plot - unravelling slow
Sustaining interest, gathering momentum
Till they unmask the k**er
Then a twist right at the end
And it's all over till tomorrow night
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap