If you're havin' bank problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but Mitt's not one
[Verse 1]
I got protesters saying our economy blows
And my Wall Street brothers want Occupy closed
You b**hes keep saying, "No change = no votes."
I work for the banks, stupid. What type of threats are those?
The gas pump's where your whole paycheck goes
It's been a long time since you was havin' cash flow
So, f** my critics: you can kiss my gas-hole
If you don't like my lyrics, then you can hit the road
Who cares about the polls? This election's a show
You wanna vote for Mitt? I don't give a sh**, so
News mags try to use my weak a**
So advertisers give them more cash for ads, f**ers
I don't know what you take me as
But understand the intelligence Obama has
You're from riches to rags, b**hes; I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but Mitt's not one
[Hook]
99 problems but Mitt ain't one
With all your bank problems I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems but Mitt's not one
Hit me
[Verse Two]
The year is 2009, and the White House is mine
But the economy's in full motherf**ing decline
My choices at the time were to sh** on the poor or
fel**te the banks to get elected once more
Now, I'm not tryin' to fight JP Morgan Chase
Got their campaign dollars so I can win the race
So, I s** their dick and watch the country implode
I heard: "Son, do you know how to cheat the tax code?”
Well, I'm young, and I'm rich, and my tax rate's low
Don't I look like a one-percenter? Mitt, you would know
Did I pa** your test, or should I guess some mo'?
“No, just tell us what you sent down to Mexico”
(laughs) If you think I'm stepping down from office for
Trafficking weapons in their drug-cartel war
I ain't steppin' down from sh** ‘cause this president's legit
"Well, do you mind if we see that birth certificate?”
All my records are blocked, you conspiracy hack
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Wow, aren't you sharp as a tack. Are you some type of lawyer or something?"
Well, I'm not a lawyer for nothin'
I pa**ed the bar so I know quite a bit
Enough that you don't stand a f**in' chance, Mitt
"Well, let's see how smart you are when the election comes.”
I got 99 problems, but this b**h ain't one
[Hook]
[Outro]
Criminal, fraud, repression, deceit
I murder and I plunder for the world elite
We invade countries till we have all they own
(I have a dream)
Well, I have a drone
I'm Barack Obama, and I like this remix