As the sun rose up into the sky And all I could hear was bird-song And the hackneyed tongues of Radio one I knew something was wrong And as I lay and tried to remember The tightly closed eye I felt soft warm fingers trace a course From the small of my back to the inside thigh Bite your lip pretend you're asleep And hold your breath count to ten And when you open your eyes just hope you're back in bed With your girlfriend again I recall a bottle of vodka being Pa**ed among friends A strange party piece with a Swiss army knife Just me and your girlfriend or is she your wife? I know my bedroom's white and this one's green With posters of bands I hate And there's a whiff of petunia and I know It's not me An air of health and de-caf tea And as a breast or two squash into my back A rambling yawn floats over It smacks me in the ghost white open mouth Just what this farce is all about
I'm in bed with your best friend I've never done this sort of thing before And I swear I was drunk And I can't believe the depths to which I've sunk Now I know it's been hard And I know I've been weak But with your job in the bills You can't blame me It's just one of those things We'll see it through From this second on it's just me and you And as the chirrups of cox a**ault my ears Your rambling hand takes over I contemplate murder and the scene of the crime But the guilt and the victim prey on my mind Perhaps a simple diversion: A leap and I'm gone Deny it ever happened: It's the d** she's on And I can't see my clothes anyway They're probably lining the stairs And down through the hallway And as I turn to confront her To tell her the truth Those eyes... That mouth... Those shoulders... I'm in bed with your best friend