ANI-- RAP BATTLES! Alex: What`s up everyone? My name is Alex and welcome to the show! No! I knew I shouldn`t have came into work today Ugh, I`m sorry! Today we got: Slenderman Vs. Unwanted Houseguest [Unwanted Houseguest] Haven`t seen me in a while? I`ve seen you just fine You took 5,028 breaths in your sleep last night Where am I? Look out the window See that parked black van? Well, I look out my window And see you, Slenderman! Just surrender, damn When people see you they hide, when people see me they die! You got no eyes And no help from the moonlight Lights off Game on Grab your leg Om-nom-nom This ain`t fiction No pretend In the end... YOU`LL BE DEAD! [Slenderman] Not afraid of the dark? I like a challenge But watch your step You might trip over your parents Don`t you dare get blood on my armani suit k**ing is my mothaf**in hobby dude You got no chance Better start surrendering So let`s dance Everyday I`m Slendering I`ll run circles around you Tie you up and bound you In the lake I`ll drown you Your face looks like shut manure I got more facial expressions Than Kristian Stewart You got dying teeth Oh, the irony Without a face I still look better than you
See? No wonder nobody wants you You look like the more cutout version of Gary Busey [Unwanted Houseguest] You do look better In the back of the freezer In my kitchen k** you that easy? Well, aren`t we optimistic Feel a breeze tickle your ear? Nah, that`s just me whispering Are there mosquitoes out here? Nah, that`s just me nibblin` 1...2...what`ll I do? 3...4...pull a trapdoor Then I`ll rip your spine out and Make you wacky inflatable tube man Your workin` for me now And we`re havin` some layoffs So I`ll save your tentacles ablaze boss Someone please pa** The hollandaise sauce `Cuz we`ll be havin` calamari for days y`all [Slenderman] Knock, knock I`m there To send you packing Wait for it.... RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!! Now I`ll shove these cuff links in your eyes And gag you with my cumber bun So nobody will hear your cries (Break to eat McDonald`s fries) Then I`ll whip your back Use my Kenneth Cole slacks Use my Gucci shoes Swat your a** Like a spider You know the ones you swallow in your sleep? Guess who puts them there? Me I know just how to end this song Teleport before you spawn And k** the artist that drew you So you were never ever drawn!