Old Spice Guy: Look at my fist. Now back to me Now back at my fist. Now back at me What's in your hand? Back at me An expensive gift found in the sea Now look again. It's a deadly piranha Now it's veal parmigiana I'm on a dolphin. Where are you? You're on the moon, with no O2 Now look at me, I'm extremely handsome Now you're being held for ransom Behind you look, a box of kittens At me, now back to Jason Witten Close your eyes, Ok, now open Now look down, your hip is broken I'm almost done, soon you can talk But if you attack, Terry Crews will block Most Interesting Man: Ha ha! I k** two stones with one bird And feel bad for the stones My raps are so good It'd make a less interesting man explode I'll drink your blood, and chase it with 151 I challenged myself to a staring contest And on the third day I won I'm the closest thing the world has ever come to perfection When I get lost in the hood, g**ners give me directions Google searches me, dolphins watch me My beard has seen more than you
And in Rome, they do as I do I just show up, and b**hes follow I don't always give women orgasms But when I do, they swallow I've been a black belt in karate since I was in the womb I'll leave dos equis over your eyes, kid. Go to your tomb I'm kicking your a**, you're fighting off the urge to say thanks Oh, and by the way, Old Spice will never smell as good as Axe Old Spice Guy: Old Spice smells better than fresh chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven Cinnamon rolls, that new car smell, and blue berry muffins Library books, Play-Doh, Wet paint and chlorine Those giant felt tip markers and gasoline All mixed together Most Interesting Man: I don't always call people liars, but Old Spice smells like your typical run-of-the-mill soap Terry Crews: Bah, old man, you've been talkin' for nearly an hour I'll burn your a** with double sun power What rhymes with explosion? Another explosion Now, excuse me, I gotta go work on my tits at Gold's Gym