Bruce and Ed and I walked into Old Pappy's Foodmart
Bruce and Ed were brothers and they were not very smart
But I needed some men fast to help me with this one big score
Then I'd never have to rob another grocery store
Fill the bag with money I said to the cashier
Fill the bag with money honey and we'll get out of here
But somebody tripped the alarm and then all Hell broke loose
The bag boy he pulled out a gun and blew a hole through Bruce
Ed caught the bag boy in the chest with both barrels from his twelve
The bag boy flew back twenty feet into the produce shelf
That was for my brother Ed shouted through his tears
Now we faced the electric chair instead of 15 years
I grabbed that bag of money and I headed for the door
I didn't wanna die in some stinking grocery store
But the parking lot was already crawlin' thick with cops
That what you get when you rob a store 'round the corner from the donut shop
Sheriff Big Dick Turner he was runnin' the whole show
He said throw your guns down come on out boys let them people go
You boys don't stand a chance your little heist has failed
But I knew Big Dick Turner and we'd never reach his jail
Ed looked up through the window just to see what was going on
A bullet pierced his forehead and the back of Ed's head was gone
The cashiers they were screaming Ed's brains were everywhere
It seemed Big Dick was right there was no gettin' out of there
A car pulled up some folks got out it was my mom and dad
My daddy yelled out kid you're the worst son I ever had
You're really in it this time you're really in it deep
I hope they blow your head off you good for nothing creep
Sheriff Big Dick Turner yelled get 'em out of here
And I sent the cashier to the stock room to bring me back some beer
The family plan had failed plan B was coming soon
I was starring in my very own Dog Day Afternoon
Then they brought a woman out my true love Madeline
She left me seven months before and I hadn't seen her since
She left me for the bouncer at the bowling alley bar
She left him two weeks later for some guy who sold used cars
She said Franky please come out of there you're in an awful jam
Franky please come out of there and we can start again
While you're away in prison I will wait faithfully
Franky I do love you please come on out for me
Well I knew that she was lying 'cause she never told the truth
I knew that I would get the chair they'd never let me loose
But for my true love Madeline I threw my gun out on the ground
I hollered Big Dick Turner I'm coming out please don't cut me down
Well they didn't give me d**h they gave me 60 years
So I think it's safe to say that I'll be dying in here
And Madeline and Big Dick Turner they're the hottest thing in town
I was a love sick fool when I had the chance
I should've shot them down.