[Intro :Andy Milonakis]
Oh my God, that's him, that's him, that's Dirt Nasty
Oh my Gosh, go ask him
No you ask him, no you!
But I'm scared
Okay, hey Dirt Nasty
I-I asked my mom, where babies come from, and she says a stork bring them down from heaven, is that true?
[Verse 1: Dirt Nasty]
Well let me break it down for you kid
Ain't no stork done dropped off sh** (what?)
Ain't no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no tooth fairy and b**hes want money
See your mom gave dad some head, he shoulda pulled out and nutted on the bed
Instead, nine months later, you plopped out your moms fat a** during labor (hehe)
But mommy was a player, you might be your dads but you prolly your neighbor's
Came out all sloppy and sh**, crying like a b**h, s**in' her tits
See that's what God intended, but Lord have mercy the twat's infected (what's a twat?)
As the doc cut the umbilical he saw your co*k and said f** you're pitiful
Now here you are seven years later and your dick ain't grown a f**ing centimeter (that's true)
How can I teach you profilactic, just stick the plan with your tiny little fat dick
[Hook]
Let me teach you the birds and the bees, it's kindda easy like A B C
If you feel like it burns when you pee, put a rubber on your dick for the STD (that's right)
Let me teach you the birds and the bees (stupid), public service from Dirt Nasty (dumb sh**)
See that little red dot on your meat? Put a rubber on your dick then act like me
Doggy style, that's the sh**, girl on top, squeeze her tit, missionary, nah thats lame, choke a b**h, what's my name? (Dirt Nasty)
[Andy Milonakis]
Hey my brother showed me a weird slimy balloon that he says protects him from diseases, what's a diseases?
[Verse 2: Dirt Nasty]
Alright here we go (ladies and gentlemen)
Alright kid, hold this beer, let me make this crystal-f**ing-clear
I don't know if they make baby trojans, but if they do pull it down to the scrotum
Ever seen dad, scratch real bad, it ain't poison-oak, they call it the crabs
Ever seen sis, hiss when she piss, clenching the fist, that's syphilis
And when mommy make doc appointments, it ain't the flu, she need vajayjay-ointments
And don't go sharing slurpies, 'cuz little Karen is carrying herpes
Dick hurt? Burn when you pee? Then put a Jimmy on your little wee-wee
Better wrap that rascal, especially if you put it in a chick a**hole
Don't trust no ho, and if the pinky's stinky, run for the backdoor
When the cooch is loose, that means she's a s*ut, you silly goose
p**y tight? Hit it like a champ, oh yeah, watch out for the tramp-stamp
The b**hes disease, so beware the wrath of the wizard sleeve
[Hook]
[Outro]
[Dirt Nasty]
Now I hope you kids learned a valuable lesson, now excuse I gotta go to the clinic
[Andy Milonakis]
Oh, I get it now, babies come out of girls p**y holes (yes), and your should always use condoms (mmh, maybe)
Vaginas are stinking dirty filthy germicidal f**holes filled with poss and ooze (you've been listening)
Thanks Dirty Nasty, I really learned something today, now that I know about the birds and the bees I'm gonna go get my dick s**ed
[Dirt Nasty]
Alright you kids get some head