I'll tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went down to Yawl be the sea
The day it was bright and the sun it was warm
Says I, 'a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm'
I went up to the barman and said 'give me a stout'
Says the barman, 'I'm sorry. All the beers sold out
Try whiskey or vodka, ten years in the wood'
Says I, 'I'll try cider-I've heard its good'
Chorus
Oh never oh never oh never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and couldnt get up
After drinking a pint of that Johnny Jump Up
After lowering the third I headed straight for the yard
Where I ran into Brophy the big civic guard
Come here to me boy dont you know I'm the law
Well I up with my fist and shattered his jaw
He fell to the ground with his knees crumpled up
Wish'd it wasnt i'd hit him for that Johnny Jump Up
And the next thing i saw down in Yawl by the sea
Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me
Im afraid for me life ill be hit by a car
Wont you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar
And after three pints of that cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet
Chorus
Oh never oh never oh never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and couldnt get up
After drinking a pint of that Johnny Jump Up
Well i went up the Lee Road a friend for to see
They call it the madhouse in Cork by the Lee
And when i got up there the truth i do tell
They had the poor bugger locked up in his cell
Says the guard testing him say these words if you can
Around the ragged rocks the ragged rascal ran
Tell them im not crazy tell them im not mad
it was only six pints of that cider i had
Chorus
Oh never oh never oh never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and couldnt get up
After drinking a pint of that Johnny Jump Up
A man died in the union by the name of McNabb
they washed him and placed him outside on a slab
and after the coroner his measurement did take
his wife took him home to a bloody fine wake
it was about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high
and the corpse he sat up and he says with a sigh
i cant get to heaven they wont let me up
until i bring them a pint of that johnny jump up
Chorus
Oh never oh never oh never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and couldnt get up
After drinking a pint of that Johnny Jump Up
Oh never oh never oh never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and couldnt get up
After drinking a pint of that Johnny Jump Up