[Phone Intro: Logic (Marty Randolph) & Logic (Female Voice)]
Let's see here, uh, (301) 776-43......
This motherf**er better pick up the God damn phone this time, Jesus Christ
Thank you for calling RattPack Industries
Yes hel....
Where we don't f** with anybody
Someone will be with you momentarily
Jesus man, seriously? Jesus bro, f** bro...
Current wait time is 1 minute
f** man, f**ers better not have me waiting all God damn day in here—Jesus...
While you wait, please listen to a word from our sponsors...
[Skit: YaLocalWhiteBoy , Logic (Marty Randolph) & Logic (Female Voice)]
Y'know, it's crazy cause it's two types of motherf**ers
It's one motherf**er talking 'bout:
"Oh Logic's so slept on, he's so lowkey..."
Knowing damn well this motherf**er did 135K first week
First f**ing week!
Then it's other motherf**ers talking 'bout:
"Oh, Logic's blowing up, he's getting so big now. I don't want him to blow up on me. Oh, Logic's changing..."
Cause he made a turnt a** mixtape!
We're going to be bumping this sh** the whole summer!
The f**?!
Current wait time is 36 minutes...
36 minutes? It was just a minu—it was just one minute!
What the f**?!
And do y'all not listen to lyrics?
He's making a whole other concept album
That's f**ing insane!
This man dropped a project every year for six years
I mean, I'm not complaining though but—
Current wait time is 1 hour, 40 minutes...
1 hou—WHAT THE F—?! This, this—this is gotta be hands down the f**ing worst customer service of all time
You can just—I can't—
This motherf**er made a number one album!
What?
Made a mixtape after...
Oh my God—
And then he's making another concept album...
This is f**ing bullsh**...
Like his first sh** didn't already go Number 1?!
Nobody cares...
This motherf**er's on a roll!
NOBODY CARES!!
This motherf**er's like bu*ter, he's on a roll motherf**er!
Current wait time is...
Okay God, thank God!
16 hours
What the...? WHAT THE fu*k?!
And it's peace, love and positivity
Logic is the only rap concert you can go to
And not get shot in the face
Like this motherf**er actually loves his fans
You name it: YouTube videos, Periscope, Vlogs, Q&A's
This motherf**er does it all!
You name it, he does it! The f**?
WHAT fu*kING RAPPER DOES THAT?!
Current wait time is...
Okay...?
Go f** yourself
Go—go f**...? WHAT?!
And this motherf**er
Can solve up to seven Rubix Cubes in a minute....
WHO THE fu*k DO YOU KNOW CAN DO THAT?!
This is ridiculous!
No one is available at this time
WHAT?! I'm gonna let this motherf**er have it!!
Please leave a message after the tone...
[Spoken Message: Logic (Marty Randolph)]
Oh, hey—hi, Logic...
Hey, how's it going?
My name's Mar—Rick—
My name's Randy Mardoff
Definitely never spoken before...
I was calling just to say, uh
Just wanted to wish you, ugh, lots of uh, suc—success...
And uh, maybe we can have some lunch
I don't know if this is a direct line to you
But yeah, once again this is, uh, uhm—Randy Mardoff
Never spoken before...
You can call me back at any time, m'kay?
Alright bye
[Outro: Logic (Marty Randolph)]
Oh sh**... f**! I didn't leave my number! I GOTTA fu*kING CALL BACK AND DEAL WITH THIS sh*t AGAIN?!