Amateur Transplants - New Man Song lyrics

I don't support a football team And I can't hold my beer I subscribe to Heat magazine And I quite like Ikea I'm good at ironing I like films with Meg Ryan in 'Cause I'm like a bird in every single way I don't know where my car is I don't know where my phone is And everyone tells me that I'm like a bird in every single way I don't know where my bag is I don't know where my flat is Trisha, that's a show I don't miss And I've got no sense of direction I sit down when I take a piss I care about contraception I attend yoga cla**es And I worry how big my arse is 'Cause I'm like a bird in every single way I don't know how my phone works I don't know how my car works And everyone tells me that I'm like a bird in every single way I don't understand rugby Why does nobody love me?