Amateur Transplants - Swearytale of New York lyrics

Adam Kay: It's Christmas eve I'm on the forecourt To buy a present From the Wild Bean Café There's packs of cigarettes There's packs of moist towelettes There's Dan Brown audio ca**ettes And sacks of charcoal briquettes Suman Biswas: Where the f**'ve you been, I've been waiting for hours Adam Kay: Oh don't be so cross, look I've brought you some flowers Suman Biswas: These flowers are dead, and they're from our front lawn Adam Kay: I've also brought twiglets, a torch, and some p**n Suman Biswas: You're an ungrateful ba*tard for pulling this stunt You nobhead, you sh**bag Adam Kay: Insufferable c*nt! At least I don't need tweezers to handle my penis Suman Biswas: Stick that torch up your arse Make this Christmas our last! Both: And everywhere around the world From here to Galway Bay... There are couples Splitting up... On Christmas day!