Amateur Transplants - Stressful Christmas lyrics

I've been having a rather stressful Christmas Fixing the garden fence But I certainly didn't plan that as soon as I began There'd be the following events I tripped over a hose And fell in some roses And thorns stuck in my head And my nail gun fell And then it expelled some nails Which then embed in my hands and feet Which quite completely nailed me to the shed Oh, I'm beginning to look a lot like Jesus; accidentally crucified And if you think this song is blasphemy Then you can kiss my f**in' a** for me - where it's nailed up outside