Amateur Transplants - Hallelujah lyrics

I'll sing about my favourite spice It's pretty hot but its very nice And the punch line's in the chorus So I won't spoil it I recommend you understand That boys should always wash their hands Between eating it and going to the toilet Jalapeno, Jalapeno Jalapeno, Jalapeno I'll tell you about a person, who Was pretty good in X-Men 2 And you'll guess this Now that you have had some practice She wasn't really known at all Until she starred in Monster's Ball For which she won an Oscar for Best Actress Halle Berry, Halle Berry Halle Berry, Halle Berry If you went back a century And suffered some great injury That meant you had to have an amputation You'd suffer pain but not today Cause now we have a clever way So you can sleep right through your operation Anesthesia, anesthesia Anesthesia, anesthesia This is a phrase that people say But only on one special day You've said it many times, you will remember You'll drink a large gla** of malt wine And sing a verse of Auld Lang Syne And say this as you wave bye to December Happy New Year, Happy New Year Happy New Year, Happy New Year It's time to have another try This one is a medical di- Agnosis when one doesn't smell of roses Cause every time you yawn or speak The flowers die and the people shriek And everybody's hands rush to their noses Halitosis, halitosis Halitosis, halitosis Let's talk about a type of shop Where you can never buy a chop Or sausages or any kind of bacon Or crackling, or pork, or gammon Or what the Spanish know as "jamon" If you disagree, than you are quite mistaken Halal butcher, halal butcher Halal butcher, halal butcher That last punch line was quite obscure But you will guess this one, I'm sure Cause not to work it out would be quite shocking It won't take that much thought at all This phrase is something nautical That prostitutes might say at time of docking Hello sailor, hello sailor Hello sailor, hello sailor A recent holiday I had, was fifty miles from Baghdad A cultural and sunny destination It's not a trip I much enjoyed Because my hotel was destroyed By the U.S. army's occupation In Fallujah, in Fallujah In Fallujah, in Fallujah Some men notice with dismay Their hair has fallen out one day From problems with their scalp or malnutrition I'll tell you what this illness's called It's more than simply going bald The proper name for this hair loss condition: Alopecia, alopecia Alopecia, alopecia When takin' baths all through my life I've cleaned myself with this device It's made out of two metals in a mixture I'm not sure if it's copper and tin Or maybe it has nickel in But either way, I think you've got the picture Alloy loofah, alloy loofah Alloy loofah, alloy loofah There have been people through the years Who've had not one but two careers Like this man here whose job needs explanation He's someone who's been double-trained A barrister, who's been ordained Essential for religious litigation Holy lawyer, holy lawyer Holy lawyer, holy lawyer I'll tell you about a type of sweet I hope you never have to eat It's chewy and it's made with nuts and honey Alarmingly, it's full of cheese A salty cheese that comes from Greece It's not a taste, forgotten in a hurry Halloumi nougat, halloumi nougat Halloumi nougat, halloumi nougat