Amateur Transplants - The Menstrual Rag lyrics

Once a month your girl's upset She goes to Boots to buy Lilets It happens every 28 days When she's in her Luteal phase All she does in moan and nag You go five days without a shag There's no cunnilingus You can only use your fingers When she's using a menstrual rag For the week or two preceeding The days your other half is bleeding The moody b**h is in a stress Complaining about PMS and When her womb has started sluffin You won't be eatin any muffin Two, four, six, eight Come on girls, lets menstruate Heavy flow or gentle spotting Running down her legs or clotting All that lining that she sheds leaves Nasty patches on your bedsheets Just don't waste your efforts pleading You won't be shagging when she's bleeding The Methenamic acid means you might as well be flaccid When she's using a menstrual rag It's hard to be all that devoted When she is looking fat and bloated From all the water she's retaining While her pants have nasty staining You won't be doing any groping When she's losing haemoglobin Two, four, six, eight Come on girls, lets menstruate Get those Bodyforms with wings And grab your Tampax by the strings And TENA lady's sanitary pads Come on boys you've seen the ads This dance is sweeping through the nation Here's three cheers for menstruation Its the latest craze Every 28 days They're all using a menstrual Using a menstrual rag