Amateur Transplants - Nothing at All lyrics

It's amazing how pretty you looked on that night Your skirt was so short and your top was so tight I bought you a drink and we danced on the floor We pulled and you came back to mine for some more Your skirt ended up on the living room chairs And your top and your bra, they came off on the stairs And though you looked fit with your clothes on Man I was a fool... Cos you look like sh**, when you wear nothing at all Oh the clothes that you wore looked a million dollars But the body beneath, it looked just like Rik Waller's The make-up you wear is a clever disguise To hide your moustache and the squint in your eyes Your cellulite's dreadful, you're covered in zits and Your stomach's about as defined as quicksand If I'm being honest your tits are unacceptably small So you look like sh**, when you wear nothing at all When we went back to mine I was up for a shag In the bedroom I realise you're a dumpy old slag Your pubes reach your navel and they cover your thighs Didn't know they made arses that size When we met on that night, I could swear that I never Would've guessed you're a female Andrew Lloyd Webber The hair on your chest's a bit endocrinological And you look like sh**, when you wear nothing at all Your teeth are all yellow with bloody great gaps so Your face is a picture by Pablo Pica**o I can see that your arse has it's own gravitational pull And you look like sh**, when you wear nothing at all