Amateur Transplants - Northern Birds lyrics

Hello, my name's Adam Kay And my name's Sumin Biswas We are amateur transplants This is a public service announcement for all men: If you go to Bolton If you go to Manchester or Crewe Newcastle or Scarborough York or Sc*nthorpe Bradford Barnsley too Or Grimsby Listen up to what we have to say Northern birds Are lazy, ugly who*es who Smell of burgers So don't have too much to drink Or you might f** one And end up getting AIDS There's nothing fun To be found up the M1 Northern birds are lower cla** slags Who take it up the arse They're in the sack After one cider and black But they're f**ing awful rides And your dick won't touch the sides Da da da da da daa da da da daa Northern birds Da da da da da daa da da da daa If you really have to Go up North then follow our advice Fight away the women Or you'll find yourself with pubic lice And Herpes You're much better staying in the South Northern birds Are desparate ugly hippos Dressed in burberry With a peanut for a brain And an accent that makes you want to die Now you've been warned They're all physically deformed Northern birds are all obese And they're riddled with disease Try to escape Northern s** is worse than rape Stay down South And mark my words Steer well clear of Northern birds Da da da da da daa da da da daa Northern birds Da da da da da daa da da da daa Northern birds