Amarii Davu - Joy & Pain lyrics

[Hook: Auriel & Denei]: Until I see you again You're on my mind until I see you again (x4) [Intro: Amarii talking] Ya know, sometimes I feel like I gotta be...I gotta be metaphorically naked to folks. I gotta show y'all how I live, how I am, who I am. That's the only way to connect to you. I heard it from Jay-Z in a dream. So let me give y'all something...about me [Verse 1: Amarii Davu] Tryna focus on all my highs Though these n***as want my lows to Make me not survive With the spirit of Lesane, X, and Martin Let these words carry life If I'm to perish and die Utter words to leave these lames in early graves If music is my religion, unto Yeezus I would pray But he can't save me though When I face them gates Or them eternal fire blazes Chasin' dreams of higher places Racin', to a timer set by a higher power At times I question will I ever reach a finer hour I contemplated pills and nooses, I can't die a coward Carved the word, "Why", into my wrist 'cause me and love have sour, sick Twisted, and bitter emotions Mask the pain with masquerades And escapades with the 40's, shawty Smile, that's what they tell me Appreciate the joy and pain even if you helpless Hey [Hook] [Amarii Davu talking] Yea. This just a lil' preview of everything. Let me go a little deeper with this one. Hold on. Check me out [Verse 2: Amarii Davu] Used to steal out my momma's purse Til I realized that's the last woman I should hurt But she definitely won't the last Trail of tears left by my ex's in the past Infatuated by the biggest breast, the next a** Complicated with communication don't ask 'Cause I'd rather not tell Once cursed God and ever since I lived hell Doubt he forgave me, on my knees I knelt Oh! Used to handle pain with mary jane Lying to my folks when they know I ain't the same I lost fifty pounds going damn near insane I lost the same amount in trust, love, and friends Cause sh** changed Uh, I knew I'd make it through somehow But back then I couldn't even figure out how Hey! Smile that's what they told me Live yo life like it's golden like yo momma's oldies Young n***a [Hook] [Amarii Davu talking] I ain't got a reason to fabricate nothing, man, this is true. This is how I feel. Like...I feel like I gotta show my experiences man...like...you know what? I need y'all...I need that beat to loop around one more time right quick. I need time to think. What should touch on now? Should I touch on my Pops. I love you Pops. Gotta touch on it though. Feel me out one time [Verse 3: Amarii Davu] I dish dirt 'cause dirt help sh** grow The applauses just water for this concrete rose I went from...highs to mediums to lowest of lows Reaching out to seeing many doors close in my nose To be the king of pharoahs, ha, dreamiest flow Defeated the foes, the odds Like not having my Pops He was scared to let his little prince see him on rock I ain't ashamed, I understand, and I love him a lot Had many teachers tell a n***a I was bound to be shot Now they look back at me, they frown or they shocked I got the key to life, if not, I guess I'm pickin' the lock I kick in the spot, I rob it all, the kitchen, the pots I spit what I watch and live and then I try to give it you Hope you receivin' what I'm bleedin' as the deepest of truth They told me smile, now I smile, and I seldom complain Life, the beautiful struggle, the joy and the pain, baby! [Hook] [Outro: Amarii Davu talking] So hopefully...these 16's hit you somewhere where it hit me. Hopefully you can see a lil bit deeper into who I am. You can feel my heart. You can feel my soul, man. That's all I'm doing. Khepri