Alicia Rubio - Week 6 Reading Journal lyrics

9-16-13 Joke: A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away. " Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor. "Sure after the police leave," replied the lawyer. One day, a toddler put her shoes on by herself. Her mother noticed the right shoe was on the left foot. She said, "Honey, your shoes are on the wrong feet." The little girl looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom.I know they're my feet." 9-17-13 Joke: A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following:"help wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal opportunity Employer." A short time afterward, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign, and went inside. he looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it, and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say at the least. However, the dog looked determined, so the office manager led him to the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. he took out the page, trotted over to the manager, and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. He proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentence that proclaimed the company an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual." The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow." 9-18-13 Joke: Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Vincent: One dollar. Teacher(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic. Vincent(sadly): You don't know my father. Tommy: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not. Tommy: Good, because I didn't do my homework. 9-19-13 Joke: Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why's the groom wearing black?" 9-20-13 A Jehovah's Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint, high-pitched, "Come in." He tried the door, and it was locked so he went around to the back door. He knocked again and heard again the high-pitched, "Come in." As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him. As he plastered himself against the wall he called out for help. Again, he heard, "Come in." Sliding against the wall, he entered the living room and saw a parrot in cage. He said, "For Pete's sake, is 'Come in' all you can say?" The parrot laughed and said, "Sic 'im."