Algernon - If You Don't Know Act 1 Scene 4 lyrics

(Meanwhile, as Vil handles the battle of wit with Redmasta, the others on our journey wander aimlessly throughout the dungeon) (Enter Pio, Alg, Stephen, and CHRZA) Pio: We need to get the f** out of here you decrepit cum dumpsters Alg: f** Stephen how the f** did you manage to get imprisoned in here you idiot? Stephen: Wasn't my fault Vill left me hanging CHRZA: Ladies, ladies let's stop bickering like b**hes and figure something out Pio: I wonder if this is how Socrates felt Alg: Who the f** is that? Stephen: I think he played point guard for the Green Bay Vikings... Alg: There is no Green Bay Vikings. You mean Pittsburgh Timberwolves you a**hole CHRZA: You guys talking about golf? Pio: You guys are hopeless. It looks like I will have to lead these imbeciles into the light as always Stephen: OK I have a plan. I saw it on Shawshank Redemption. Denzel Washington dug his way out of Guantanamo Bay using some sort of knife or some sh** Pio: Ok start digging Alg: Do you see any shovels or knives here Pio? Pio: Use your ma**ive overbite CHRZA: Oooh burn Alg: OK Stephen I know you have something we can use in your bag that RedMasta stupidly forgot to take away from you Stephan: Its just filled with ca**ettes of Riff Raff songs, Riff Raff wasn't even out when ca**ettes were popular. I don't understand this at all CHRZA: I've got it Stephen. Play Jose Canseco as loud as you can and get RedMasta down here. Once he's here I will seduce him and we will be able to escape Alg: This is a foolproof plan Pio: We have no ca**ette player Alg: I will sing it as loud as I can then. I know all of the words Pio: Looks like it isn't a foolproof plan after all... Alg: “Yellow living room set (Chiquita!)”!! Stephen: That's Gucci you idiot Pio: Shut up stephan and start digging (Pio gives Stephen the middle finger) (RedMasta comes down furious) RM: Who is that singing that Gucci song? Terrible lyrics. Gucci is a simple and terrible rapper Alg: No BRICK SQUAD for lyfe!! (CHRZA approaches RM with seductive pose) CHRZA: Mmmm I want a piece of that RM: You eyein me b**h? CHRZA: Mmm hmm (Pio runs up and punches RM out) Pio: How dare you, she is a respectable young lady Stephen: (quietly enough for Pio to hear) She got dat a** doe (Pio turns around and gives Stephen a menacing look) Pio: Get digging (Stephen sighs and starts to claw futilely against the stone walls) Alg: Pio what do we do now? It looks like RedMasta is unconscious Pio: We eat him Stephen: (stops digging) Yeah I saw that on LifeTime Network once. They showed this soccer team or some sh** eating each other Alg: Ya I remember seeing that during the Olympics Pio: Did I tell you to stop f**ing digging? Stephen: (Slowly gets back to digging) This has been the worst kwanzaa ever... Alg: You don't even know what that is... Stephen: Yes I do. It's when Hispanics light menorahs and then they get gifts from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or some sh** Pio: I wonder is there is any god I could sacrifice you to (Stephen stops digging and calls Pio over) Stephen: Pio I found a weak spot in the concrete. I think I can open up a hole small enough for one of us to get out CHRZA: I'll do it. I'm the smallest one here (Redmasta slowly gets back up and Pio runs over and kicks him in the face, knocking him back out) Pio: NO!! It's too dangerous! Lets just throw this dead guy in and see what happens Alg: OK I agree with Pio cause I have no moral compa** Stephen: You can use my compa** CHRZA: You have had a compa** this whole time? Alg: Holy sh** we are saved! Pio: Are we saved? Ok which way does the compa** say the exit is? Stephen: Ummmmm all its telling me is N S W and E Alg: That's that rap group that Ice Cube was in Pio: Ok, I've had enough of this... Lets just split up. CHRZA follow me, you other guys just do whatever (Pio and CHRZA wander off into the darkness leaving Stephen and Alg confused and scared) Alg: Okay Stephen would should we do? Stephen: I dunno. Let's just see where this hole I dug leads to Alg: Alright (Stephen and Alg climb into the hole) Stephen: sh** Alg: What? Stephen: We're trapped in here now Alg: Damn Stephen: Well as long as we're here I might as well play Angry Birds Alg: Wait you have a phone that works? Stephen: Yeah, how do you think I'm gonna play Angry Birds? Alg: Well you idiot call for help Stephen: OK alright, right after I finish this level... oops it's out of battery Alg: f** (Cut away from Alg and Stephen to CHRZA and Pio who have made their way to the front of the dungeon. Pio has punched out two more of RM's henchmen (RTJ and Nimpeo) and is almost out.) Pio: Alright CHRZA I see the light up ahead CHRZA: Oh thank you Pio how can I ever repay you Pio: No payment necessary I 'm just trying to get the f** out of this birdbrain's fortress (The last of Red's henchmen (Kamy) attempts to stop Pio. Pio challenges Kamy to a fight and Kamy runs away like a b**h. Pio and CHRZA walk out of the dungeon into the sunlight) CHRZA: Well that was interesting. So would should we do about Alg and Stephen? Pio: Who cares? Let Vill pick up his garbage on the way back or let the worm's feed on their decomposing bodies. f** if I care CHRZA: Where is Vill anyway? Where is he?