Algernon - If You Don't Know Act 1 Scene 1 lyrics

Scene 1: Williamsburg, Brooklyn: RG Headquarters (Enter Villin, Stephen Niday, and Algernon) Stephen: Ay Alg what's the deal with Angela? Alg: Dude she's been all up on me lately. I thought it was a pretty cut and dry one night stand Stephen: [listening to Taylor Swift] Have you heard the new song "Hey Stephen"? She wrote that for me you know Vill: Dude she just broke up with Stephen Liles. Besides do you really want a chick with that much baggage Stephen: STFU vill all of those were rumors. And yeah she's been with all these dudes cause she's waiting for me to come along, just wait and see. Uh oh here's CHRZA. (Enter CHRZA staring at Vill) Alg: She wants the D Vill Vill: [in phaggt voice] This is a complicated scenario. We all know that her and Pio have a weird relationship. I can't jeopardize my career for that. She fine doe. CHRZA: Good morning Mr. Vill. How are you doing today? [winks and licks lips provacatively] Vill: Um, hey CHRZA... um do you have my reports CHRZA: Yes sir, they're having you an*lyze some college basketball and Kendrick Lamar today. Interesting combination Vill: Yeah, I'll be in my office (Vill enters office) Vill: Damn she's so damn fine. This is ridiculous. Why can't I at least grow some balls and go for it. You know what screw it. I'm gonna do it. I don't care what Pio has to see about me. He hates me anyway. What's the problem anyway? If Pio was with her then why was she giving me provocative looks anyway? sh**, maybe she's trying to bait me into getting fired. I know Pio hates me but is it possible they crafted this to get me out of here. But why? I'm not that bad of an editor. I may be known as Mr Irrelevant around the office but it's just jokes... right? OK I'm going to send her an e-mail asking her if she's down. Just one e-mail. It should be easy. It's obvious she's been eyeing me for months now. OK: Dear CHRZA, I've noticed that you've been eyeing me lately and I'm thinking that you might want dih dihh so hook me up. I know Pio likes you or whatever but I don't care what.... (Pio enters Vill's office) Pio: What the f** are you doing? Vill: Nothing sir Pio: And that's the problem. When are you going to apply yourself to being an editor. You were made editor, what a day ago or something? You should be doinng better work then this f**ing garbage Vill: I'm trying sir Pio: Well trying isn't going to cut it. I expect to see some amazing explanations on my desk by the end of today. Right after you come talk to an old friend of mine who is here to see you about some business. Vill: Come again? Pio: I said get your a** up and move com padre! (Pio and Vill go to Pio's office. Detective North is sitting in a chair.) North: [shakes hands with Vill] Here please sit down. Do you want anything? Coffee? Water? Molly? Vill: No I'm good. What's this all about? North: Well there's a bit of a situation. On March 20 we... [turns to Pio] hey Pal, do you think we can get a bit of privacy? Pio: Sure, I'll just be in somewhere other than my own f**ing office f**ing your mom. *Pio shuts door and gives Vill the finger through the window* North: Good to see he hasn't changed Vill: Listen if this is about CHRZA I swear to you it wasn't gonna go down like that North: Um no that's not.. Vill: Look I know Pio has some sort of relationship, but frankly it's confusing and CHRZA is blatantly hitting on me North: Man, I don't care about that.... Vill: And why the hell did he have to bring in a detective? For a scare tactic? Seriously? North: LISTEN TO ME!!!! (Vill shuts up) North: Okay good. I'm Detective North from the Rap City Police Department. We are investigating a murder Vill: Woah... woah, I know nothing about a murder North: I'm sorry to break this news to you but your fingerprints are at the crime scene Vill: Wha? No. This is a practical joke right? [yelling] Ay Pio listen man that's a good one. I'm sorry about screwing with you it won't happen again (Pio can be seen across the office through the window belittling StephenNiday) North: I'm afraid this isn't a joke Mr. Vill. This is the real deal. Vill: But I rarely even go out. I was with my friends Alg and Stephen last night ask them. North: There will be plenty of time for that in court Vill: [distressed] So what happens now North: Vill you are under arrest for the murder of Mahbod Moghadam the CEO of RG Vill: WHAT!!! NO!!! THERE'S NO WAY!!! I'm INNOCENT!!! North: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law... (Taken out in handcuffs. Stephen and Alg see Vill) Stephen: Vill what happened Alg: [concerned] WTF?? Vill: Guys I'm innocent. Get me out of this Alg and Stephen (simultaneously): We will *Exeunt*