Ullo-Ullo-Ullo-Ullo Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Your goat's made a mess on the carpet (x2) He lost his bottle in Barnsley (x2) He's an Avon Representative (x2) Ullo John! Gotta new motor? (x4) Hahahahahahahaha motor, motor, motor, motor motor, motor, motor, motor, urgggghhh Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Ullo John! Gotta new motor? They put me in a special hospital (x2) Is there life on Mars? (x2) Is there life in Peckham? (x2) What's that switch over there for? (x2) Ah ah ah ah ow... ah ah ah ah ow Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Ullo John! Gotta new motor? He can't half play the bongos (x2) He's got a record by Billy Joel (x2) Them locks are easy (x2) Here's my calling card: WALLOP! (x2) That's a piece of balsa (x2) You can make a model out of that (x2) He stuck his head in a dustbin (x2) And then ran through the launderette (x2) Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Ullo John! Gotta new motor? 'Ere John do you like the suit here, eh eh it's a lovely suit innit? 'Ere wanna brown ale? (x2) Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Mine's a light and bitter (x2) Ullo John! Gotta new mot-AH ... AH ... AH He works on the Thames Barrier (x2) I keep tropical fish (x2) In me underpants (x2) Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Ullo John! Gotta new motor? He walks around with a hat on (x2) (Spoken) Oh yeah our Rodney yeah, he's the intelligent one He's in the police force Very bright he is Been to Miami? Lovely... Miami Package tour in Miami You can't get a light and bitter You can't get a light and bitter in Miami though You can get one in Bermondsey though! That's a nice sound as well, Bermondsey You can get a light and bitter, and it sounds nice Light and bitter, that sounds nice, I'd like a light and bitter Oh cheers thanks a lot Oh nice one yeah, alright What you having? What you having eh? Pina Colada? Lovely, here you must be sophisticated Ullo-Ullo-Ullo-Ullo Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Ullo John! Gotta new motor? Your goat's made a mess of the carpet (x2) Ullo John! Gotta new motor? (x5) (Spoken) Here that's a nice three piece suite, yeah I like your music centre Here got any Demis Roussos? Oo I like him, Barry Manilow, I think he's terrific Oh I love him, I love Barry Manilow, I go all weak, when I hear Barry Manilow I go all weak