Alaska Thunderf** - Christmas Stories (Interlude) lyrics

[Queens Discussing] Thorgy: Ugh. By the way, I had always like wonderful Christmases, but did anybody ever have like burn down? Like, when they were young or anything? Others: No... Jiggly: I wanted a Barbie so bad, but my mom gave me a G.I. Joe Manila: Okay, but does anyone have any really bad Christmas stories? Alaska: Umm, this one time my dad got my mom a curly fry maker Jackie: ...A what? Alaska: It's like a curling iron, but for potatoes Others: Ohhh.... Manila: Yeah.. Deep-fried carbs on Christmas is pretty bad, but does anyone have any really, really bad Christmas stories? Jackie: Hey, you guys, I've got one Manila: Yeah, what is it, Jackie Beat? Jackie: Picture it. Me, a little girl, sitting at the Christmas table surrounded by my family. The year was 1989 and-- Alaska: Girl, really? Jackie: ...1972. Shut up and let me tell the story. *Choking up* Anyway, so there I am, surrounded by my family like I said, eating Christmas dinner, and I turned to my dad and I said "Hey, dad, will you please pa** the gravy?" and guess what he said?... Alaska: That he's not your real dad, and he never was? Jackie: No. He said, and get this, "Sorry, Jackie, we're out of gravy!" *Queens gasp and Jackie sobs* Alaska: Oh, you're such a card, Jackie. And speaking of cards, this is my new song, "Chr!$Tm@$ $Ux"