Alan Cumming - Raven (Live) lyrics

[Spoken] I was in the gym today obviously and Anyway and In the gym today I met this girl and She had all these tattoos and they were all kinda like garlands All up on her arms like this garlands around her beautiful face And I remarked upon them and then we started chatting And she said do you have any tattoos Alan and I went well I use to And she when what do you mean And I told her the story and I'm going to tell you it now So about 15 years ago I met a man as crazy as intense ridiculous pa**ionate explosive Short Lived affair with this boy it was really really stupid And when I try to describe how intense and how extraordinary it was to people I always say I felt like the victim of a chemical attack That's really what it was like For example after two weeks of knowing him We each had each other's names tattooed on each others body And I thought that was the most sensible thing that I had ever done in our life I really did yea just after two weeks and four months after that It was over we kinda repelled at each other The supernova we were like boom we couldn't be together anymore it was just over And of course then I had this tattoo left on my body and his name was Raven And so I kinda had Raven on my groin just there And all my friends that thought I was really crazy to get this tattoo after just two weeks are absolutely hilarious now saying things like you can add ous and make it ravenous And you can add C at the beginning and get craven and my favorite actually was this You can rub a little bit off the end and make it raber for a while that was nice but then We get back into the dating game again It got a little bit old because people would be in that vicinity and like Who is Raven and that really it was time for it to go so I happen to be in Los Angeles and I was making a film in Los Angeles and I went to Cedars sign nine medical center and they had this expert This lazar expert in tattoo removal He was like Alan it's going to be fine you won't feel a thing It won't leave any marks at all, never know it was there because the type of ink He use was so hight quality and like I had it done so recently and I was So i had to go and have it three or four times this procedure It is horrible because they had to inject you four times around the tattoo Around your groin boys and girls not nice to freeze it and then Like did this lazor thing they had a little curtain around it you couldn't Really see I couldn't really see and you hear these noise like And I say what's that noise and they say o that's the laser excreting the Ink in your body eww so I had to do that four times and it was really horrible I got this scabby and it was really painful, it is so much more painful than Actually getting the tattoo I guess it's the definition of karma right there ladies and Gentlemen so and you know it's absolutely gone now afterwards if we should meet In a bar somewhere in New York tonight and I was to show you my groin you would Not know that I had once been marked by this Raven person ah that's unlikely to happen of course so about a year later I met up with Raven uh back here in New York Met up from one of those you know let us be friends kinda evening and we chatting Away and he went like you still have your tattoo hunny he is kind of a cowboy and I went no I had it wrenched from my body by laser you? And he said kinda and he pulled down his pants and um hmm hmm where it use to say Alan it now says balance Yes it's true and if I am part of bringing balance to the most balanced people I have ever met in my entire life ladies and gentlemen as Marta Stewart said that's a good thing