[Spoken intro] And you know ahm that every word that is true, it's absolutely true That really did exist if you,if you go to Youtube you put in: Alan Cumming condom you.. Bollocks, maybe you shouldn't do that, (laughter) that might be (laughs) hahaha Make your, make search the most specific (laughter) But it really did happen…. (laughter) Well that's [?] things up (laughter) Tonight ladies and gentlemen, the next three songs we're going to go on a little tour of Europe A sojourn if you will Three countries, we'll gonna start in my homeland Scotland And we're going to Glasgow ah and Glasgow's, ah a city i love very very dearly It's not where i'm from but it's where I went to drama school and it's where I became a man, if you will. Many times (laughter) and... ahm This song is a song that I had many many years ago Written by this amazing person called Michael Mara It's Called Mother Glasgow and the thing is ah it's quite a complicated Scottish song It has got lots of scottish idioms in it, a-lot of kind of things that Glasgow lore So I thought I'd do a little cheat sheet version for you first Just to get a hang of it, so when I sing it properly i get the full whammy Right? So here we go [Verse 1] In the second city of the empire So when Britain had an empire London was the first city Glasgow was the second Mother Glasgow [?] Mother Glasgow matriarchal figure out just like Lady Liberty Bairns… A Scottish word for children Trying hard to feed her little starlings Unconsciously she clips their little wings She's a parent she f**s up (laughter) Mother Glasgow[?] is perpetual Nestling the [?] Oh so in Glasgow there is a big sectarian divide between catholic and protestants So a [?] is a is a protestant [?] is a catholic and Mother Glasgow gets them all together Just like Oprah.It makes them all happy (laughter) I dreamt that you could [?] with some mango [?] Scotch [?] seed mango ,the peaches in the Glasgow To try to catch a fish that couldn't swim Oh! So in the studio of Glasgow is that it was this place where there was a fish that couldn't swim And a bird that couldn't fly a tree that couldn't grow And a bell that wouldn't ring A name said mango came along And also in an Oprah like way, Glasgow's a big connection to Oprah Made them all happen [Verse 2] Second verse A mango [?] starlings Father Glasgow knows he charges well Father Glasgow father Glasgow Mother Glasgow's plus 1 Ah he want to make his way up into heaven By waltzing all his charges into hell Mother Glasgow's s**er is perpetual [?] [?] try to catch a fish that couldn't swim You got it? Yes (laughter)