Akeldama - Shadow of an Entity lyrics

Pain Is at the forefront of my mind For but a simple moment's time Although it seems to last forever It will fade away with the wash of madness that fast approaches My only fear is this: Without the pain What will I become? What will I become? This instance of pain is my one and only memory What brought me here to this moment in my history? I know something happened It's something immense Strong enough to erase the pages of my life's story When did I make the choices the led me here? Where did I take the wrong turn? Everything is wrong I can feel it I have become a miserable wretch I'm left in a spiral of contempt I hate what I've become So I reach out to others, compelled to find compa**ion Only receiving just a pa**ing glance in judgement This world around me; a mirror of my wretchedness Yet there's one struggling glimmer of a thought From within the deepest blackness It claws at the edges of my sanity Refusing to be s**ed into oblivion Within this vacuum in my mind This tiny thought spins a tale of hope; a seed of possibility I know it must be false but I can't relinquish it It's giving me a sense that there's a purpose to this madness It tells me: "There is someone out there waiting for you to change everything" An unrelenting notion that I must fight through this seemingly hopeless reality" But is it just the needles and the gla** A catalyst for full blown insanity? Is this world a perpetual winter night Or will the sun one day rise on a precious summer solstice? This hope is a plague on me One last strand to hold onto In the center of my being I just want to let go of this thing Release me from this reality Unbind me The fabric of my sanity is Unwinding Fragments of a prior existence Float freely in the limbo of my consciousness Not a single one contains substance Just a ripple on the surface of a memory Everything has been shattered to pieces Separated by a void that I cannot comprehend This purgatory is a fate worse than d**h I exist as the shadow of an entity The void has come to coalesce Ruling over everything I am That which is missing has left such an emptiness That my existence has been rendered purely meaningless