Afroman - Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags) lyrics

(Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right? Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right? He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right? Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'? He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said Woooooo, good morning, ladies You like that sh**, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that sh**, man I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums Everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these mutha-f**in' jokes But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.) Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan We f**ed on the bed, f**ed on the flo', f**ed so long, I grew a f**in' afro Then I f**ed to the left, f**ed to the right. She s**ed my dick 'til the sh** turned white I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my a** lookin' like a ZEBRA! I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4 Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-f**er whooped my a** all night But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn p**y I ever had I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a f** that b**h just one more time Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African I f**ed her once, I f**ed her twice. I ate that p**y like shrimp fried rice Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia Had a big bu*t and big titties, too, so I hopped in her a** like a kangaroo See, I met this woman from Hawaii. Stuck it in her a**, and she said, Aiiiiieeee! Lips was breakfast, p**y was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just f** me I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong Hey, wait a minute man, check this out I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with Hennesy That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that a** and said, Yes, Miss Daisy! Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that p**y in a coma Met this lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I f** that b**h again Met a real black girl in South Carolina; f**ed her 'til she turned into a white albino f**ed this hooker in Iowa. I f**ed her on credit, so I owe her f**ed this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya Met this beautiful s**y ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico Fine young thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla I wanna get married, but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she gets deported Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong Have you ever went over to a girl's house to f**, but the p**y just ain't no good? (SAY WHAT?) And then you're getting' upset cause you can't get her wet, plus you in the wrong neighborhood? So you try to play it off and eat the p**y, but it takes her so long to come (SAY WHAT?) Then a dude walks in. That's her big boyfriend, and he asks you where you from? (Where you from, man?) So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don't bang.), you start talkin' real fast But he's already mad, cause you f**in' his wife, so he starts beatin' on your a** Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody, your dick was hard but now it's soft. (WHUT?) You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still gotta go jack off Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed (fade out)