Adam Schlesinger - New Routine lyrics

Two men sit in the corner of a diner Both of them look quite a bit like Carl Reiner One of them is smoking even though the sign says not to The waitress says to stop, he says "Sorry, but I've got to" They tell each other jokes that they both know that they both know They talk about real estate, prostates, Costco And when they finish up they leave a twenty on the table The waitress picks it up with their half-eaten bagels And when her shift is over she goes back to Mineola Sits on the couch, opens up a diet cola and says I'm so I'm so sick of this place I'm so ready for a change of pace I'm just looking for a new routine So she spins her globe And the next thing you know She's living in Liechtenstein She doesn't speak German, only high school Spanish But within a few weeks she discovers she can manage But there's not much going on except for banking and skiing So she breaks up with the man that she just started seeing He drops her at the airport in a diesel Mercedes Thinks to himself I'm so feeble with the ladies and I I'm so I'm so sick of this place I'm so ready for a change of pace I'm just looking for a new routine So he grabs his cap Throws a dart at a map And now he's living in Bowling Green He talks his way into A job at La Quinta Falls for the manager Who's moving back to Canada She's tried Roanoke, Reykjavik, Rome Says "You're really sweet but I just want to go home" Two men sit in the corner of a diner One of them says "I might take a trip to China It's one of those things we should do before we're too old" "Thanks but no thanks, bring me back an egg roll" Bring it back Bring it back Bring it back Bring it back