Performed by adam sandler Transcribed by the brave raven. I'm sitting in my chair watching the tv It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy a** sh** That my friend overnight mailed to me I'm f**ing wasted It's the best sh** i ever tasted I think they f**ing laced it Cause i'm so damn lambasted Oh my friend came over so i packed him a pipe I told him he better go easy with this sh** but he didn't believe the hype He sparked three bows just to show he could take it Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked He's f**ing wasted It's the best sh** he ever tasted He's lost in f**ing spaced-ed Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted Oh i spent the last two hours Hiding under my bed Cause i looked in the garbage can And i think i saw my uncle louie's head I'm f**ing wasted Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird's face The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak He looked at the two of us and he started to speak I'm f**ing wasted It's the best sh** i've ever tasted My brain's been erased-ed Well f**ing fried I'm sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat I wanted a pizza the bird said pepperoni would be sweet Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hell's up with you I'm f**ing wasted It's the best sh** i ever f**ing tasted Oh f**ing sh** I'm way too baked