Adam Kay - Dorsal Horn Concerto lyrics

>Ascites, oedema, appendix, anaemia; >Embolus, embryo, eczema, cheyne-stokes; >Empathy, apathy, atopy, allergy, autism, autopsy, arthroscopes. >Infarction, infection, induction, injection; >Inspection, palpation, phlebotomy, mumps; >Bicuspid, bipolar, bigeminy, biceps, teratogenic, testicular lumps. >You must say things like dysdiadakokinesia; You can't say things like the patient's unable to clap their hands quickly together while turning one over and over and over and over and over and over Otherwise they'd know what you meant; >So you use Latin words instead; >So the buggers will never discover the meaning behind all the stuff that you said. >Neurosis, necrosis, osmosis, psychosis; >Intestinal, inguinal, cystic fibrosis; >Lordosis, kyphosis, PE, halitosis; >And leptospirosis; >Aortic stenosis. >Dyspepsia, dyslexia, dementia, depression; >Paralysis, parasite, pleura, pellagra; >Angina, andrology, antidote, antigen; >Ventricle, vertigo, vomit, Viagra. >You must say things like micturate, defecate, intercourse; You can't say things like pissing and sh**ting and f** Although it's the same; Although it's a pain; >You have to use the Latin name. >Like haematuria and steatorrhea; Hepatic and splenic; >Iatrogenic. >But on the other hand if they understand the phrases that you say; >Just confuse and bemuse by using eponymous names; >Like Hunters and Ehlers-Danlos, Hurlers and Turners and Brown-Sequard. >And if they understand that, acronyms are twice as hard; >You need a BCG, ECG, ECT, EEG, PET, CBT, HRT >Haematocrit, Haemorrhage, Haemorrhoids, Heparin; >Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease, Gross Heamatemesis; >Maxilla, Axilla; >Macular, Papular; >Spatula, Scapular; >Spermatogenesis. >Avoid saying nutcase and mental and lunatic, fruitcake and screwy and mad; >Terms like bipolar and frank schizophrenia tend not to go down so bad. >So these are the words that are used; >But surgeons of course are excused; We can't have them getting confused!