A Wilhelm Scream - Dreaming Of Throwing Up lyrics

So I'm looking at this bottle And this bottle, it speaks to me It says get off the f**ing train So I jumped down These metaphors are for a**holes and I'm no different I'll get to what I mean slowly Roses and poetry That's all you want to be? Not alive, not dead Not alive, not dead Not alive, not dead Looking for a reason to be Not alive and not dead You give me goals impossible And I get further from my own If these were lies I wouldn't be leaving, you had to need me I tried this once before Just as insulting, what for? Not alive, not dead Not alive, not dead Not alive, not dead Show me what you used to be Can we find a balance, a medium? My anger was a heavy weight you bore Now I'm balancing meteors I want to see you Not alive, not dead Not alive, not dead Not alive, not dead Show me what you used to be I was looking at this bottle And the words made sense to me 'Cause it was all a f**ing dream A lie I'm not alive and I'm dead I just see my goals are impossible And I get farther from them all Mocking words We buried both What a world without you holds I had to know