212 Recording - Letter To My Father lyrics

Drinking by my lonesome, Not sure who to call Everybody only see the outside think I ball But they don't really know me at all Never walked in my shoes never saw what I saw I rap at late nites I'm writing letters to my father he ain't never Finna read A picturing of my life, flower as you see And wondering bout his thoughts the day when I was conceived Life it deceive sh** I was taught that it would be alright Now it doesn't correspond by with what I see at night Uh, things turn sour on that day in April Damn near tried to hang myself with cables in the garage The life it get hard if you think I'm any different cause they view me as a star Well then you are just far from the truth Lost my father at 16, mother worry bout landowners evicting boy it gets sickening Can't fall dying every day up on the big screen And all I got is big dreams All for that money people with switch teams And I would give it all to take your name from that obituary listing Are you listening cause I'll be yelling at the sky like "did you miss me?" Pops, cause I think about you every day I never got the say goodbye, I want that sh** in every way Every day I roll learn to toast in your honor It's awful hard to be a man when you don't got yourself a father But I carry on Just hoping that I make you proud And f** my opposition now you're trying to take me out They just don't know They just don't know I rap at late night Still writing letter to my father he ain't ever Finna read Cause still from the outside pain it inside They ask bout my coping sk**s lately I been high I swear I got a couple pills with me Couple of home boys they say they k** with me An angel was on my shoulder I don't think it's still with me See like the devil prevail Is that the story every bezel entell I swear I got myself a fan base to love my life Think I'm doing something right so they run up with they homeboys and they freestyles like that's f**ing tight? Meanwhile I've been dealing with the depression I can't escape if I don't have progression Swear I need a session like every night It's like a fix to me, you let your emotions at home And now they stick to me, sh** And that's a heavy weight to hold on Never did learn how to swim How should I float on, now I never had no option to give I get my vowed on You just packing sh** and left and I was so long ago And I feel like it was yesterday I ain't seen my heart ever since Put my chest away cause this here today and it's gone tomorrow Wish there was more time that I could borrow It's gone tomorrow Wish there was more time that I could borrow I write this song, in remembrance of my father that Past way on April 20th 2009 it was probably a regular day ta most of y'all but it's the day I lost my best friend, my mentor, my father And this crazy type of criticism and just descending you could receive from A large portion of people that have never met me and never been through anything that I've been through And that's why my father he used to keep me real level headed And tell me to do my own thing and not worry about all the excess and Is always gonna be hate you from all size but You know at the end of the day they just don't know